Hi guys and welcome to my place! 🙂
Since today is Valentine’s day I decided to hold my anxiety post to next week and talk a little bit about love… The thing is I don’t really want to talk about relationship love… As I said yesterday I don’t really believe in the Valentine’s Day, if you are in a relationship and you wait for this day to show any kind of appreciation to your SO, sorry to say, but in my opinion there is something wrong. You should be showing your love in a daily basis through the smallest actions, such as giving a kiss when the other is not expecting, surprise hugs and things like that.
BUT, this post is not about couples… Is about yourself and loving yourself! That’s the upmost important, because if you don’t love yourself who will right? And this post is not only for the single ladies and gentleman out there, even if you are in a relationship it is super important to love yourself.
From a person with somewhat not that confidence and who has had problems with self-esteem here is some things that I learned and applied making the person I am today 🙂
If you don’t accept yourself how can you love yourself in the first place? As I see it, you have two important aspects that you need to accept, your physical and your personality traits.
Let’s start with the physical ones, because those are the ones that I always felt that were more difficult to accept because it’s harder to change (unless you have the money and the health to do a plastic surgery).
Here I’m not talking about you thinking you are fat, or thin… That your haircut is not the best or that you would prefer to have less body hair, because let’s face it all of those are easy to change. If you think you are fat, go to a nutritionist, join a gym, start eating healthy. Don’t like your haircut? Go to a hairdresser, too much body hair? Do depilation more often or even go for a hair removal session.
No here, I’m talking about those body issues that everyone has. Having an eye bigger than the other, having your nose too small or too big… Those kind of things that you will only be able to change if you go to a doctor and spend way too much money to do surgery.
First, let me tell you that EVERYONE has those kind of body issues. For example I have an eye higher that the other making that my right eyebrow is above my glasses line while the other is below. My nose is also too big and my mouth is not really that symmetrical… You know what? For ages those kind of things made me feel self-conscious and think of myself as not handsome… The thing is, these are the type of things that no one will notice unless:
- they are in a relationship and you romantic enough to just stare each other for the longest time (and in this case they will think of you as beatiful non the less)
- you have someone who does the same as you, look at you as you look at the mirror and find all your body imperfections… Well, let me tell you that people are too busy with their own problems and body issues to realize those small things (even when they are big they don’t notice).
But, how to accept it? Well, I just came to a day and stopped caring… The most important person to love my body is myself… I’m not a model, neither a tv actor so I don’t really need to be a greek god to make money (and they are not greek gods either, make up and photshop can the greatest things). To be honest the moment I accept it all those kind of things I started to see myself as more handsome (Although I continue to not be able to do sexy faces… Oh well… You can’t have everything bah).
But, to be honest, there are many other ways for you to seem a handsome or pretty girl than the looks. If you are a kind person for example people will see you with other eyes, the same happens when you are funny, so you can use your personality to be more gorgeous to others and… to you!
At some point in my life I found myself thinking “I just loved to be more like him or like her”… Ever had that thought? Well, then don’t! Those kind of thoughs are auto-destructive. First of all accept as you are and think that you are always improving and always evolving. After that, instead of having those thoughs you will feel inspired and think “What can I do to be more like him/her?” and you will just do it!
Let me give you an example… I always wanted to be a more kind of guy that when he is on the group steals the spotlight and people hear him like he is a prophet… Yeah I know a little shallow, but hey… Everyone has the right to want different things. Well, you know what? I just started doing it! I went completely out of my comfort zone and even in the times I felt self-conscious and just though that I wanted to be in my space without bothering anyone I would come out of my shell and talk like an extrovert, give ideas… And I don’t know, the things leaders do. Well, at the end of it I would always have this great feeling of being proud to myseld and that it was completely worth it to come out of my comfort zone.! Did people always followed me? Heck no! There were many times that it didn’t go right, it happens. However, at the present feel a lot more at easy when I want to come out of my shell and be in the spotlight (Although I always feel that nauseous feeling in my stomach xD)
Other thing I see people looking to others and think in a jealous way and thinking that they wanted to be more like someone is skills. First of all, don’t ever be jealous! Do you know how many hours did that person trained to be able to be so good at that skill? What were you doing with that time? Sleeping, social media, starring to your ceiling, working in your own skills? Well, then you don’t have any kind of right to feel jealous about that. It was your choice not to practice so much that area.
Then again, feel inspired instead! What did that person do for being able to be so good at that kind of thing? Start doing it! You want to know how to properly sing but you can’t? Go have some singing classes. Do you want to so smart as your friend? Start studying and seeing documentaries about the topic. Again, accept the point where you are and see yourself as someone who is always evolving and start your new path.
And DON’T forget, while you think this about other people, the same people will think the same about you in different skills where you are better that them!
So, in this Valentine’s day, being in a relationship or not, love yourself. Take some time of your time to do something that makes you feel better with yourself and loving yourself more. It can be writing a post, it can be a long bath, it can be going to treat yourself in a hairdresser, it can even be pumping at the gym. Your choice!
Remember, the person you are going to pass more time in your life is yourself so you need to love and feel comfortable with yourself. If at the moment you are not, then remember that everything is in your power to change it!
That’s it folks! 😀 I start to feel that my Wednesday’s posts are more about motivation and mental health than random thoughts… Since these topics are so dear to me I end up writing them! Tell me if you like these kind of posts or not in the comments 🙂 I do hope that I am being able to change the World for the better (even if only a little) with these!
(Arthifis from the future here: I completely forgot!!!! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone :D)