Hi everyone and welcome to my place!
So today, the post a little different from the usual. It’s not a review, neither a 30 day anime challenge post. I wanted to talk with you about shounen-ai and why as a gay guy I really don’t like it. The main reasons are assumptions that most of the mainstream yaoi make. Just a disclaimer, this is my own opinion, you are completely free to disagree! And if you do, please comment down below, I love to have conversations that can make me change my idea of certain topics 😀 So let’s start!
1 – Age gap
Now, I don’t really understand why in most of the mainstream shounen-ai animes there is always a huge age gap between the boyfriends. I mean I know that they say that the guy who looks like 14 is in reality 20, but come on! For me it’s just strange to see a guy that appears to be 20’s almost in their 30’s with someone who appears to be a minor.
Don’t take me wrong, I don’t have any problems with people dating with different age gaps (of course if it’s legal and ok from both parts), but I don’t understand why in anime it’s just the ordinary. The funny thing is that I am in one of those relationships, I am 24, but most of the time people ask me an ID to drink a beer (which means they are not sure if I am more than 18 years old) and my boyfriend, well he seems the age he has, 25. However, I really would like to see other type of ages making it more close to the real life.
2 – If you sexually assault someone they will turn up gay
This one effs me the most. I think every gay person (boy or girl) had a crush on a straight friend. I now I had and of course I would fantasize how it would be if he turned up to be gay and we went into a relationship. But… Sexually assaulting never crossed my mind (I was going to do a joke, but it’s a serious matter so I’ll contain myself)…
I really don’t understand this concept… Basically the other guy is telling that he doesn’t like guys, that he doesn’t want to kiss or have sex with other guys, non the less the other pushes him forward and forces him to do it. Starts touching in some down areas and voilá, the guy who is straight and don’t want nothing to do with guys is liking it and gives himself to his sexual assaultant. And don’t forget that they then normally start a relationship…
I mean, everyone has their sexual appealings, so it is only natural to have one or two animes where you have this sort of thing, but I’ve seen this scene more times that I wanted. It seems that it is just normal for guys starting their relationship like that in Japan.
3 – There is always a top and a bottom (and no, I’m not talking sexually)
In boyxboy relationships in anime there is normally a black and white personalities. You have the macho man and the cute one. Almost always… I mean I understand the appeal, but for me it’s just using a stigma that one needs to be the “husband” and the other needs to be the “wife”. Well, in real life that’s not really true. Yes, there may be some cases like that, but from my relationship and the ones I know both are the “husband”. They are just 2 normal guys, who happen to be gay and fell in love. Both are in the grey area, both have some masculines traits and other more feminine, they both can be cute and the manly man.
So, even though I understand this one, it really pisses me off not seeing more shounen-ai animes where there are only 2 normal guys who fell in love.
4 – Abusive Relationships
Basically, what is normal seeing in shounen-ai anime relationships is one dominant and other submissive as I just wrote. Don’t know why but the dominant one normally seems to be a jealous guy that has short temper and verbal or physically abuses the submissive one. Of course that, in the end, they make peace with each other and live forever happy together in an abusive relationship.
Do I need to explain any further why this is just wrong? Being in a gay or straight relationship, abuse is NOT, and I repeat NOT OK! So, I would never support any kind of entertainment that exploits abuse as something normal to have and not that bad to begin with.
And I think that’s the gist of it! Probably more thoughts will come into my mind later, but oh well… that’s the life of a writer xD
Now, let me suggest you one of the best shounen-ai animes I ever saw. (it’s a movie)
The story is about 2 high school students, one is more of a delinquent (Hikaru) and the other is a straight A student (Rihito). They study in the same class and Rihito starts tutoring Hikaru and they just fall in love with each other, like normally fall in love.
I love this anime because the romance is great and it’s just two normal guys who met each other and fell in love with each other. Both respect each other very much, Hikaru finding that Rihito is still a virgin stops all moves of trying to have sex with him and says he will wait until Rihito is ready. The anime shows more the side of having a gay relationship when even holding hands seems to be too much affection to have in public. How difficult it is to accept yourself and coming out of the closet and things like that. However, everything is done with a real life aspect to it, with almost no drama and everything is just natural. The guy who is still inside the closet don’t say that in the open, but you can understand it because of his ways to respond to the others’ moves… Well, it really is an excellent anime that really made me happy to watch as a member of th LGBT community 🙂
I also want to mention No.6 and Yuri on Ice, although the romance is not the main plot, they just integrated gay romance in the most natural way! 🙂
What did you think of my point of view? Do you agree or disagree? Please comment down below! Also, I will try to watch shounen-ai animes until the end so I can review it with all the information XD