Anime, Bathroom Thoughts, Deep Thoughts

Why, as a gay guy, I don’t like Shounen-ai animes!

Hi everyone and welcome to my place!

So today, the post a little different from the usual. It’s not a review, neither a 30 day anime challenge post. I wanted to talk with you about shounen-ai and why as a gay guy I really don’t like it. The main reasons are assumptions that most of the mainstream yaoi make. Just a disclaimer, this is my own opinion, you are completely free to disagree! And if you do, please comment down below, I love to have conversations that can make me change my idea of certain topics 😀 So let’s start!

1 – Age gap

super-lovers

Now, I don’t really understand why in most of the mainstream shounen-ai animes there is always a huge age gap between the boyfriends. I mean I know that they say that the guy who looks like 14 is in reality 20, but come on! For me it’s just strange to see a guy that appears to be 20’s almost in their 30’s with someone who appears to be a minor.

Don’t take me wrong, I don’t have any problems with people dating with different age gaps (of course if it’s legal and ok from both parts), but I don’t understand why in anime it’s just the ordinary. The funny thing is that I am in one of those relationships, I am 24, but most of the time people ask me an ID to drink a beer (which means they are not sure if I am more than 18 years old) and my boyfriend, well he seems the age he has, 25. However, I really would like to see other type of ages making it more close to the real life.

2 – If you sexually assault someone they will turn up gay

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This one effs me the most. I think every gay person (boy or girl) had a crush on a straight friend. I now I had and of course I would fantasize how it would be if he turned up to be gay and we went into a relationship. But… Sexually assaulting never crossed my mind (I was going to do a joke, but it’s a serious matter so I’ll contain myself)…

I really don’t understand this concept… Basically the other guy is telling that he doesn’t like guys, that he doesn’t want to kiss or have sex with other guys, non the less the other pushes him forward and forces him to do it. Starts touching in some down areas and voilá, the guy who is straight and don’t want nothing to do with guys is liking it and gives himself to his sexual assaultant. And don’t forget that they then normally start a relationship…

I mean, everyone has their sexual appealings, so it is only natural to have one or two animes where you have this sort of thing, but I’ve seen this scene more times that I wanted. It seems that it is just normal for guys starting their relationship like that in Japan.

3 – There is always a top and a bottom (and no, I’m not talking sexually)

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In boyxboy relationships in anime there is normally a black and white personalities. You have the macho man and the cute one. Almost always… I mean I understand the appeal, but for me it’s just using a stigma that one needs to be the “husband” and the other needs to be the “wife”. Well, in real life that’s not really true. Yes, there may be some cases like that, but from my relationship and the ones I know both are the “husband”. They are just 2 normal guys, who happen to be gay and fell in love. Both are in the grey area, both have some masculines traits and other more feminine, they both can be cute and the manly man.

So, even though I understand this one, it really pisses me off not seeing more shounen-ai animes where there are only 2 normal guys who fell in love.

4 – Abusive Relationships

junjou romantica 20

Basically, what is normal seeing in shounen-ai anime relationships is one dominant and other submissive as I just wrote. Don’t know why but the dominant one normally seems to be a jealous guy that has short temper and verbal or physically abuses the submissive one. Of course that, in the end, they make peace with each other and live forever happy together in an abusive relationship.

Do I need to explain any further why this is just wrong? Being in a gay or straight relationship, abuse is NOT, and I repeat NOT OK! So, I would never support any kind of entertainment that exploits abuse as something normal to have and not that bad to begin with.

And I think that’s the gist of it! Probably more thoughts will come into my mind later, but oh well… that’s the life of a writer xD

Now, let me suggest you one of the best shounen-ai animes I ever saw. (it’s a movie)

Doukyuusei

Doukyuusei.(Manga).full.2032348

The story is about 2 high school students, one is more of a delinquent (Hikaru) and the other is a straight A student (Rihito). They study in the same class and Rihito starts tutoring Hikaru and they just fall in love with each other, like normally fall in love.

I love this anime because the romance is great and it’s just two normal guys who met each other and fell in love with each other. Both respect each other very much, Hikaru finding that Rihito is still a virgin stops all moves of trying to have sex with him and says he will wait until Rihito is ready. The anime shows more the side of having a gay relationship when even holding hands seems to be too much affection to have in public. How difficult it is to accept yourself and coming out of the closet and things like that.  However, everything is done with a real life aspect to it, with almost no drama and everything is just natural. The guy who is still inside the closet don’t say that in the open, but you can understand it because of his ways to respond to the others’ moves… Well, it really is an excellent anime that really made me happy to watch as a member of th LGBT community 🙂

Doukyuusei (1)

I also want to mention No.6 and Yuri on Ice, although the romance is not the main plot, they just integrated gay romance in the most natural way! 🙂

What did you think of my point of view? Do you agree or disagree? Please comment down below! Also, I will try to watch shounen-ai animes until the end so I can review it with all the information XD

See Ya Soon! 😀

43 thoughts on “Why, as a gay guy, I don’t like Shounen-ai animes!”

  1. I found this post really interesting! I don’t watch Shounen-ai but it’s interesting to hear your opinion on it! That last one Doukyuusei (probably spelt that wrong but oh well 😂) sounds really sweet! Yuri On Ice was cute because their relationship just grew sweetly and naturally without overtaking the actual story of the show! I love just cute, sweet, natural boyxboy relationships that make me go “aww” 😆😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that you though of this post as interesting! It really makes me happy! 😀

      Yeah, it’s a lovely anime to see! That’s the thing that I wanted from Shounen-ai! Why couldn’t they do animes like Toradora! or Kaichou Wa Maid-Samma! but instead of a straght couple it would be a gay couple (guys or girls)… It would just be lovely and different 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I thought it was such an interesting point of view! It’s a view that had never crossed my mind before I really enjoyed it! 😄

        It sounds lovely! If all Shounen-ai was like that I would be all over it 😂 and omg that is such a cute idea I wish those anime had been gay couples instead! That would have been absolutely delightful! 😄 Loved this post! 😊

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s sad that I can’t draw even if my life depended on it! If I could I would love to give that idea a try!

        Again, thanks so much 🙂 It really makes my day hearing those kind of things :$

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I know I can kind of draw but it’s most definitely not anime professional quality 😂😩 I wish we could recreate the Shounen-ai genre to be adorable sweetness that would be the best 😆

        And you’re welcome! I’m glad it made your day! I’m just telling the truth! Keep up the amazing posts! 😄

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Shounen-ai is definitely filled with a lot of problematic relationships and abuse and assault are the two that I dislike seeing the most but are fairly common in the genre. I think the biggest issue is that there aren’t enough anime that focus on these types of relationships so there is such a narrow pool of content and they all end up beign a bit similar. If there was more, writers and directors would be forced to expand the range of relationships being depicted and by default we’d probably end up with some half decent ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the same as you, but the question is… Why don’t they try to do it differently in the first place. I can go with the clichés, but the abuse is just too much! Hope that after Doukyuusei and Yuri on Ice popularity creators start to do boyxboy relationships a little more normal and fun to watch, even if it is in animes that don’t have as main plot the romance itself.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I liked that you actually recommend a good one to watch at the end of the article. As for points 2 & 4 you even see these in normal “romance” anime. There are times where that is definitely appropriate for narrative reasons, but usually it is done distastefully. Enjoyed the read 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! 🙂 For number 4 I agree with you, number 2 I don’t know. I’ve seen many straight romance animes and never felt that the sexually assault was a thing. Could you tell me some names please? I would like to think more about the subject xD

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sure, the very first one that comes to mind is Ben-To. That’s more of a comedy but if you watch it then I think you’ll see what I mean. If I wasn’t about to go off and do some other things for a bit I’d look through my MAL and pick you out a few more examples but that’s all I have off the top for right now.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Never saw that one! Need to give it a go and see if it’s that similar. However, I do think that the majority of the normal romance animes don’t go that way. Yeah, you may ave a tsunderé or something like that, but normally it’s more towards the comedy side, not to explicit abuse 🙂

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  5. Great post. As Jon mentions above, some of these tropes are common in works that focus on heterosexual relationships, too. I think they’re mostly used so frequently as narrative conventions because they work well at creating drama or central conflicts in the overarching storyline, though not every creator who tries to explore these themes does so particularly tastefully!

    That said, it’s also important to remember that a lot of shounen-ai is aimed at a very specific audience (often straight women rather than gay men) who have certain expectations and even enjoy seeing some of these conventions. It doesn’t mean they’re into the idea of abusive relationships or sexual assault or whatever in reality — but I have spoken to a number of self-professed fujoshi who really genuinely enjoy shounen-ai works that include some of these conventions. For many, it’s a way of exploring (often dark!) fantasies that would be impractical, dangerous, illegal or just plain impossible to pursue in reality.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for liking and thanks for your answer! It makes me really happy to write something that make people think and show their point of view 🙂

    I don’t really have that idea from straight romance animes… Dunno why… There are many romance animes out there and of course there are some that use some of the traits that I described in the post, but I don’t think that it’s the majority…

    Regarding the exploration of fantasies… Yes I completely agree with you! And I think anime is a great way to explore dark fantasies, it doesn’t hurt anyone and normally it’s enough to satisfy the fantasies. However, I don’t think that the majority of people have these kind of fantasies (I really don’t care what are your fantasies, you do you, if you don’t hurt anyone it’s fine for me)… The question here is, the majority of shounen-ai are like that, you don’t have much of a option (sadly)… I would love to see more shounen-ai that would have nomal couples and do a comedy around that… Something like Toradora!, Special A or Kaichou wa Maid-Samma!… I think it would sell really well, I know I would want to watch it.

    So, maybe my point of view didn’t come out as clearly as I wanted it… It’s not that I have a problem with these kind of stories, I do have a problem with the majority of gay romance using this kind of plot 🙂

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    1. However, as someone who has seen over 800 anime, let me tell you, Romance anime are just the same. Especially shoujo, loves to deal with HIGHLY DRAMATIC relationships that are unhealthy. Because unhealthy relationships I guess look more interesting.

      Here are some examples of relationships from well known anime that have the exact same problems (and I am going to name at least 30 so prepare!)

      1. Sailor Moon- As much as it is praised for it’s normal lesbian relationship, we must also see that it has front and center a relationship between a college student and a 14 year old girl.
      2. Sword Art Online- Romance is rapey. There is incest romance going on in the second season.
      3. Toradora!- romance that is abusive.
      4. Ouran Koukou Host Club- abusive, and incest going on in the background.
      5. My Little Monster- Threatens to rape her. entire relationship founded on pushing each other away with toxicity for laughs.
      6. Class President is a Maid *go away* *becomes more aggressive in pursuit* stalker.
      7, School Days (don’t know if you can call this popular but) Guy cheats on girl all through the series.
      8.Wolf Girl and Black Prince – agrees to be pretend boyfriend but only if she agrees to be treated like a dog.
      9. DBZ- not a romance but there are relationships in it… long term verbal abuse and neglect.
      10. Future Diary- obcessive love to the point of killing other people.
      11. Card Captor Sakura (has a really nice gay relationship in the background) but it also has a 4th grader/teacher relationship….
      12. Hana Yori Dango- Complete psycho boyfriend. To the point of murder.
      13. Revolutionary Girl Utena- The entire thing is centered around it stop being abusive but it is still about “owning” a girl by way of fighting. Lots of incest, abuse, ect in this. Lots of rape.
      14. Love Hina- Girl hitting guy a looooot
      15. The Familiar of Zero- Constant yelling and hitting.
      16. Death Note- probably the most popular anime of all time, and Light abuses Misa heavily. But like his other victims, he does it mostly with words, even attempting to kill her at one point.
      17. Death Parade very much centers on abusive marriages.
      18. Neon Genesis Evangelion- Every Kind of Romance and every last one is abusive in some way.
      19. Diabolik Lovers- Constant threats of eating her, and they are holding her captive.
      20. Orange- It may not seem bad on surface, but it is about going back in time to stop a friend from committing suicide and for some reason they think the only way to do that is to give up going out with one person that she was happy with in order to give suicidal person a girlfriend.
      21. Nana- Realistic depiction of abuse.
      22. B-gata H-kei- Entire premise revolves around a girl wanting to fuck 100 guys and she has to start with #1 and this would presumably mean ditching him and not caring about his feelings. And she very much just shows him her bra randomly. Yeah it is abusive. Even if it is funny.
      23. Nodame Cantabile- abusive. Played for laughs.
      24. The Ancient Magus’ Bride: Those Awaiting a Star- age gap
      25.After the Rain- age gap
      26. My First Love Monster- High schooler dating a grade schooler.
      27. A Silent Voice- dates a bully
      28. Eromanga-sensei – abuse, incest
      29. Peach Girl- Abusive.
      30. Ranma 1/2- Abusive, arranged marriage, rapey.
      31. Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-Chan- Kills him, brings him back to life to kill him again.
      32. Tenchi Muyo- Age gap, incest, abuse, ect.

      OK. Now lets start listing the ones with tropes where women are either portrayed as DEMURE INNOCENT VIRGINS or TSUNDERE ABUSIVE BITCHES. I mean, it is hard to find an anime without underlying sexism that you wouldn’t notice such as Oremonogatari. Which is often described as anime’s sweetest no conflict relationship. But the thing is, the female character is EXACTLY what every girl in Japan is pressured to be. So sweet and quiet that she wouldn’t call out if she was being molested. That a guy has to save her. That she must bake and be nothing but sugar. the expectation that she be virginal and never want to hold hands or kiss.

      Moe anime in general are a promotion of this stereotype. Sexualized/fetishized innocence. And it is no mistake that the bulk of those anime have a seinen (adult male) demographic.

      Add to that, every little sister anime. And there is more than I listed like Oreimo.

      I hope you have been educated now. All anime romance is toxic. ALL. ANIME. ROMANCE. IS. TOXIC.

      Sincerely,

      A yaoi fangirl who knows her shit.

      PS. Thanks for insulting one of the few romances both me and my husband relate to: Gravitation. It made us both feel better in 2004 during the Bush era when gays were demonized. But that wont matter at all. Nope!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah I am bisexual. and so is my husband. And we count on this too. My husband likes Junjo Romantica and I don’t. He thinks it is “sweet”. xD

        I mean, I guess But I prefer manga like Banana Fish or New York New York were things are taken a little more seriously.

        No person on this planet has a perfect relationship where they never fight. Where nobody has something in their past they are ashamed of. And since my husband fits a certain girlish stereotype, it can be hard to even prove our relationship is real. And I am fairly boyish. People would laugh and say he mistook me for a boy…. People would also before him, say nobody would date me because I looked like a boy.

        But back to anime: Animation is supposed to convey things quick and easy. And Japanese comedy revolves around slapstick humor. Which involves a lot of hitting. So if it is a romantic comedy, it will have abuse. There is also a cultural thing about saying no 3 times in order to mean it. This results in rapy stuff all the time.

        Hope I was helpful. But, since Yuri on Ice, I have been sick to death of people criticizing yaoi/shonen ai. SICK. TO. DEATH. And saying I am wrong for having a sexual fantasy when there are over 1000 hentai and 800 ecchi and only about 100 animated shonen ai/yaoi. (there is 5,000 yaoi manga and I have read like 300, I highly suggest reading What did you eat yesterday for a relationship so boring and normal you fall asleep)

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I guess shounen-ai really is a genre targeting straight girls. Well, a certain type of straight girls. As a straight girl though, I’ve only tried two shounen ai animes (Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi and Super Lovers) and ended up cringing too much to get beyond a few episodes. I love your post and really agree with all your points!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks a lot for your kind comment! 😀 I think I never ended a shounen-ai show for the same reason as you! However, if you want to see a good story, I really recommend you Doukyuusei!

      Like

  8. This is so good and so true and I don’t know why but I was smiling while reading it. I think you forgot one thing in these anime and that is literally everyone are gay 😬.
    Thank you for sharing this post with me as you really made my day 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m coming to this post late, but I just want to say, YES, to all of this. I’m a lesbian, not a gay man, but YES, so much YES. I read a lot of BL/Shounen-ai and yaoi, but the whole “and rape/sex turned me gay” thing drives me crazy, too. Weirdly, I also hate that somehow, magically, almost everyone is instantly good at the gay sex. There’s no learning curve, there’s no… culture, no… community, do you know what I mean? I feel like, for myself, becoming a lesbian was a process and I wish we’d see more of that in BL (as well as yuri–though, admittedly, I read a lot less of that.)

    But, also yes to the whole heteronormativeness of the gay relationships in BL/yaoi. That’s just not at all how my queer family operates, either. Sometimes she’s ‘the butch’ and sometimes I am, and not just sexually either, as you say.

    Anyway, thanks for this. It’s a great post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You never come to a post late! XD your comments are always on time for me eheh first let me just tell you that you really made me happy with this comment eheh xD so thank you for that!

      That’s a great point of view! Never thought of that but it’s completely true! Dating guys was also a process for me! I mean! I always bought flowers when my girlfriends and I did a timing relationship milestone and then I was like… I’m not giving flowers to a guy!! XD but that’s the most superficial… I always was the one leading and I had to understand how let myself being leaded sometimes and so on xP however I never really got into the community somehow… Yeah I met a lot of guys until meeting my boyfriend but none of them really sticked out even as a friend… Bah

      Right? It drives me mad! It’s like… Who the hell would be OK to always have the same position in a relationship? It’s just normal that depending in the situation one person that will lead it will be different!

      Thank you~! And thank you for your comment! It was a great one and fun to read/answer eheh

      Like

  10. Kinda to continue my rant:

    I don’t know why people like Doukyuusei so much but also think it is “different”, It isn’t. Especially if you read a lot of manga. The glasses kun x deliquent/yankee is actually a VERY common trope. And yeah, it is usually consensual. Ironically enough, the manga about gangsters typically involve more consent than the average yaoi. It is like comrades doing violent gang activity. There is rape and abuse though, just usually it is not with in the relationship

    I don’t know why people praise Super Lovers when it is RAPEY and honestly worse than Junjo Romantica because I do like Izumi. Going to point out that it is definitely on the same level as Super Lovers (which by the way, my husband also likes because he feels like it is super different from other stuff he has watched and he likes that they acknowledge things, and I am like… great I guess?) And my husband, as much as he liked Yuri on Ice alright, didn’t feel like it was very “cute”. MEanwhile, he did think I was cute with how I squeeled the entire time. And I DO THINK Yuri on Ice is BL. WHY? Because there are BLs with even LESS gay content than Yuri on Ice. It is such an insult it is not even labeled romance. And No. 6 being a shoujo, is DEFINITELY BL. Honestly fucking uneducated.

    I have consumed EVERY title that has been animated. And as far as I can tell, it is no different than what goes on in the romance genre except you actually see people have a relationship more often rather than build up to getting into a relationship.

    Why does nobody ever mention Samurai Flamenco? Nobody died in that. They walked under the umbrella together just the same. And in the after story they get married and it came out before Yuri on Ice or Doukyuusei. I donno, prob because the Yuri relationship in it isn’t healthy.

    This isn’t a BL/GL problem. This is an industry wide anime problem and especially female demographic problem. Because anything that is good, or normal gets adapted into live action. Because girls prefer live action. And with the male demographic it just gets trashy.

    Nobody is normal in anime. Not even Shinji Ikari.

    I am frustrated I guess as someone who has seen over 200 things from the hentai genre and feel, by comparison, yaoi is sweet.

    Here are some hentai titles to check out to ensure you never ever judge yaoi again:
    Pigeon Blood (OAV)
    Sex Taxi
    Enbo
    Shitai wo Arau
    Inyouchuu
    Dropout
    Gakuen de Jikan yo Tomare
    Bible Black
    Discipline
    Urotsukidouji Legend of the Overfiend
    Euphoria
    Kuro Ai: Hitoyozumakan Inkou Rannyuuroku
    Kanojo ga Mimai ni Konai Wake
    Otome Dori
    Onichichi
    My Imouto: Koakuma na A-Cup
    Girl’s Education
    Mahou Shoujo Ai

    I promise, most of those are worse than every yaoi I have seen actually get an adaption and since you could theoretically just continue to list more

    When you consider that live action titles like My Own Private Idaho are praised even though I feel very strongly it has quintessential yaoi aesthetics including saying “guys don’t love other guys” and having an interesting case of “If it is you, it is OK”. There is a smoking element. A prostitute thing going on, and I know a lot of yaoi that deal in that. The way one is blond and the other is brunette. But, it is highly praised even in gay publications. It is my favorite movie, but not because of the gay stuff, but because there was a lot to be said about privilege in it.

    And if you have ever seen gay movies and shows, directed by gay people, you would know, a good chunk of them are worse than yaoi in how the portray relationships. Example: Tru Blood or Kaboom

    What is worse is that if I want to watch the Harvey Milk Biopic, I gotta see Sean Penn, who is a known abuser IRL. We don’t even get it right here in the west. What makes you think Japan could do it better when they haven’t even allowed for cultural coming out and shit to be normalized in their country? And they still very much believe gay guys want to be women.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Sorry for the late answer… When I read your comments I was not in a place where I was able to answer and then I just sort let it sit for a bit! First of all, thank for your comment! It is most appreaciated and I love to receive ideas different from mine! Sorry thta this “dang” page doesn’t have an edit button, but for that you will need to make a complaint to wordpress.com :/ I think many people tried, but it seems they still didn’t change that -.-

        Other thing that I want to make sure that I think you forgot in the middle of your rant is that I’m a gay person, in a happy gay relationship who wants to marry and have kids and so on! So, I didn’t write this post just because it’s fun, or for the likes, or for the views… Or something like that! But, let me start from the beginning of your comments! 🙂

        Now, it’s going to be a little hard to answer all or your coments because you did a really well job and you basically wrote a post yourself. (I don’t even know if you will receive this answer since you are not a WordPress user, but I hope you do.

        Now, let’s start with the first comment.
        1. Sailor Moon- Not really a fan. However, when I was saying about the age gap is that it seems to be the norm. Although not really going towards my culture and way of living, I’m not bashing this kind of things. It was not long ago where we had European princess age 13-14 marrying kings way older than them. So, I think it’s really a culture thing.
        2. Sword Art Online- Also felt that wasn’t really needed. However it is not really an incest since they are not “really” brother and sister… However, yes it’s strange, but I’ve seen documentaries about real people doing that. Nevertheless I felt the Anime really didn’t need that.
        3. Toradora!- romance that is abusive, completely true. But made in a way for the comedy factor, not really the serious abusive type. I understand what you mean, but I see it with other eyes.
        4. Ouran Koukou Host Club- Didn’t really felt the abusive part… More than the incest you also have the guy who seems to be 13. However, the idea was going to put the stereotipical gay relationships that teenagers girls love. It is not really incest since it’s only an act and they don’t even kiss.
        5. My Little Monster- Haven’t seen it, so no commentary.
        6. Class President is a Maid *go away* *becomes more aggressive in pursuit* stalker. Yeah, I’m not really fond of Kaichou because how Usui treated her.
        7, School Days – Don’t really like school days because of the said guy 😛
        8.Wolf Girl and Black Prince – Completely agree with you! It was too much!
        9. DBZ – Not a huge fan, but I would say for the comedy factor? I remember Bulma and Vegeta having not the best relationship if that’s what you are talking about.
        10. Future Diary- That’s the point of the Anime since it’s a psychological.
        11. Card Captor Sakura – don’t really liked it, but if I did liked to the point of watching all of it I wouldn’t really like that part.
        12. Hana Yori Dango- Never watched it so I’ll trust you on this one
        13. Revolutionary Girl Utena- Same thing
        14. Love Hina- Same thing
        15. The Familiar of Zero- Same thing
        16. Death Note- The killing part is because of his strategy. However, that’s one of the points that makes Kira the villan and not the good person
        17. Death Parade – completely agree with you, but it has a sense of reality to it.
        18. Neon Genesis Evangelion- Nope, still didn’t see it.
        19. Diabolik Lovers- Never seen it and I don’t intend to. It seems not to have a nice rating :S
        20. Orange- Hmmm interesting point… But, I completely don’t think like that 🙂 Yeah, it’s true that he is going to give his love to the suicidal guy, but there is a reason towards it. He knows that this guys was the love of his wife life.
        21. Nana- Completely agree and that’s the idea of the Anime.
        22. B-gata H-kei- Why is it abusive to have a girl to want to sleep with 100 guys?
        23. Nodame Cantabile- Never saw it I’ll accept it!
        24. The Ancient Magus’ Bride: Those Awaiting a Star- Again, my problem is not with the age gap itself but being the norm.
        25.After the Rain- Same thing
        26. My First Love Monster- Same thing
        27. A Silent Voice- What is the problem of dating a bully years later? I’m friends of people who bulied me in the past… I mean people grow up
        28. Eromanga-sensei – Never seen it so no comment
        29. Peach Girl- Same
        30. Ranma 1/2- Same
        31. Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-Chan- Same – but sounds like fun 🙂
        32. Tenchi Muyo- Same

        So, the idea is… My post is about my opinion to the general yaoi Animes. However, contrary to what you think I’m not bashing it! People like what they like! I don’t really could care less. I accept everyone if they respect other people. However, I would love to have more yaoi with normal gay couples. I know, yaoi is made for a certain target… But, being me a gay guy shouldn’t I be part of the target? I’m not saying to burn the Yaoi ever made! I’m just saying to create other types of Yaoi set-ups.

        Continuing… First, you guys really seem a cute couple eheh! I love when people break stereotypes and are just themselves! I know it’s hard though :/ So, gambatte!

        Regarding the part of talking about this after Yuri On Ice. Wait a second! You just made a stereotype of myself lolol I didn’t write this because I watched Yuri On Ice and decided to dwell in the Yaoi! I started watching Yaoi when I was a teenager and I wanted to find Anime about gay relationships. That was all! I, of course got a little disappointed since nothing portrayed a “normal” relationship.

        Regaring your sexual fantasies… Does really my post seems to make fun of people who like Yaoi? Because that’s not really what I think at all! Again, I don’t really care what you like or what not. The only person I need to know about sexual desires is my boyfriend so I can see if I can please him or not, the same goes the other way around. So, sorry if it seemed to making fun, that was not the attention!

        Yes, I agree with when you say that No.6 and Yuri on ice are BL! I found both to be really cute honestly! It was refreshing to have gay protagonists without making a huge deal with it! Maybe a forecast that times are changing?

        The hentai list… Well, I know it’s even worse…But, I mean, giving things that are worst don’t make me change my mind of thinking something is not the best it could be 🙂

        I’ll conclude this answering the part of the japanese doing it better and my own thoughts on the subject.
        I’m gay right? I love Anime, so it’s just natural that I would like to have more Yaoi romance centered in gay relationships which can even be abusive for the comedy factor, but portrayed “normal” relationships. And what I want to say with normal? Just 2 regular guys meeting each other and finding love! Of course there will be fighting and they will get mad at each other and then come back together and so on… That’s how romance and relationship goes!
        But I really would love to have 2 normal guys, without any of them being a top or a bottom, with them having more or less the same age… Things like that! Sorry to have this dream :/

        I do think that Yaoi translates what the society think of us as gay people though! As you said, Japan still doesn’t accept really well gay people, although they wouldn’t say it in your face or change a thing because that’s their culture. But you are completely right! (Sadly)

        However, I think portraying gay guys as “rapey”, with huge age gaps, so pedophyles (is that how you write it=, will do evetything for sex… Those kind of things you know? Those stereotypes that you will have to face the moment you come out as a gay! And guess what, most of them are untrue!

        If you really believe in what you said about the gay people in Japan you would also want normal gay couples in Anime since it would give the right and good impression of gay people (and more accurate) and basically starting to destroy barriers… But well, it’s a difference of opions and everyone is entitled to their own so yeah, friends as always 🙂 Hope you could understand better what I wanted to say with this comment. As I said, I really didn’t want to attack anybody!

        Liked by 3 people

  11. I loved this post and completely agree. I love yaoi but I 100% believe it would only make the genre stronger to have more diversity to the characters. I think that’s three big difference in anime genres. You can find these scenes and characters in straight couples but you can find more variety than in yaoi currently. I think that is a reflection of culture as well not just for Japan but I think everyone. I mean it has only been very recently in America that the gay character in media has moved from being the femienim gay best friend that loves Cher and style. Are there gay people who dig those things? Hell yes but every gay person isn’t a cookie cutter just like every straight person isn’t. There’s variety and the only reason the media in america started showing more diverse characters is because people asked for it. The only way Yaoi will start having more diverse characters is if people ask for it. So I really love this post! And this conversation was great to read through. One thing I can’t let slide though is for the record in the manga there isn’t such a huge age gap between Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. Idk why they changed it in the anime but in the manga Tuxedo Mask isn’t in college lol it drives me crazy that they changed it in the anime but that’s a rant for another time XD Fun Post all around!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you~!
      I completely agree with and I’m happy that you understood my point eheh I’m not bashing what exists at the moment, I just wanted some more variety!

      I’m really hoping that the huge popularity Yuri on Ice had will disrupt the system and we will start getting more BL/Yaoi with “normal” people!

      Regarding the American culture! I think there was a lot of things that changed the show business. Not only having people asking for it, but also having a lot of celebrities coming out helped a lot! Moreover the new generation is the one with more at ease when comes to different sexualities, so I hope this mantains and continues to evolve all over the world! 🙂

      Thank you so much for your comment! It made my day 😉

      Like

  12. This isn’t surprising for me. I always thought yaoi was for girls who liked that kind of thing. It’s what the term fujyoshi is used for. I’ve never been a fan of the genre since it doesn’t appeal to me but these problems sound really bad.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah there should be that available. But I feel like that’s a lot of it for straight guys as well, it’s difficult for anyone to escape from these clichés! Probably harder for you though sadly.

        Liked by 1 person

  13. I feel like a lot of hatred toward BL / yaoi is unfair. Have you ever read bara? It’s also as problematic as BL.

    1. Rape
    Bara / Gay manga have it too. Gengoroh Tagame, Mentaiko, and many author write rape in their story. In Grandpa Flesh Carrot, grandpa rape grandson because of viagra effect. There’s also many story where a married man with kid have an affair with their coworker, or “I’m straight but want to have sex with a man once”

    2. Incest / Abuse
    Have it. Just read any stuff created by Gengoroh Tagame. Google Massive and Creta no Meushi

    3. Unrealistic story / character
    In bara, there’s a little brother that have sex with his big brother because “My brother cannot get laid, so I will have sex with him”

    Mind you, all of these story are written by gay men. Believe it or not, I know someone that hate BL/yaoi because it’s full or rape but like Mentaiko and Gengoroh Tagame. Mentaiko write a story where a man being raped in front of his girlfriend. And yet there’s no “Boycott bara!” or “Why I dislike bara”

    I wish people would just be honest. The reason they hate BL is because they are written by and for women.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, first of all let me tell you that I’m not hating, sorry if that was what I showed, but that is not the idea!

      I think there is entertainment for everyone and if I don’t like it, it doesn’t mean that I’m going to hate it! There are people who like it and I’ll be their friends non the less xD

      Those are great points of yours! I went with Yaoi because I’m still the noobest of the noobies when it comes to manga >.< I blame the lack of time!

      However, I do think that there is more "hate" regarding Yaoi because it is more popular than bara. Not really because of being written by and for women! 😛

      Look at me for example. I'm a sucker for romantic Animes that the main target is women and I don't really like Yaoi XD

      However, if there were more Yaoi without those tropes I would also be a sucker for them xD

      Like

      1. Thank you for your kind reply. Please forgive my rudeness. English is not first language. I don’t like abuse and rape in BL/yaoi manga too. But I never see people going after toxic male otaku behavior.

        I’ve seen people trashed Super Lovers for it’s age gap but like Monogatari series or big titty anime like Kill La Kill. Don’t get me started with One-PunchMan.

        “I am offended with BL because it’s full of rape.”

        and later

        “I’m not offended with Puri Puri Prisoner in One Punch Man because it’s parody. lol.”

        Liked by 1 person

  14. I totally agree! This topic isn’t talked about enough. While there are many mangas/animes that contain rape and other forms of sexual assault between a female and a male (it’s not talked about a lot either), there are many that don’t contain these types of gross elements. I find that it occurs more often in shounen (I’m sure it occurs in genres like ecchi and hentai etc. as well, but I only read/watch shounen, shoujo, yaoi and shounen ai) than in shoujo. But it feels like there are almost NO yaoi/shounen ai mangas/animes that don’t at least contain a drop of sexual assault. It’s fine if it’s shown as the horrible and traumatizing situation as it is, like if it brings up the tragedy of rape and the victim blaming that comes with it but not like it’s usually portrayed- like hot/sexy or romantic. Ugh, I hate it when the seme and uke roles are so evident and when it’s supposed to make the viewer find it romantic when the seme can’t resist the uke and then jumps on him and doesn’t stop touching him even when the uke says no, is crying and resisting. It’s gross and straight out horrible. I do NOT find asymmetric power dynamics, abusive relationships, rape or pedophilia romantic, hot or sexy. And it’s sad that the only homosexual ”love” portrayed in anime contains these disgusting things. Sorry for ranting, I’m just also upset about the viewers who appreciate this terrible portrayal of homosexual relationships and also just supporting the acceptance of rape.

    I agree on doukyuusei, it’s a nice anime. Do you read manga though? I started with anime and never thought that I’d get into manga, but I definitely did later on. I’d recommend Guang Xiang (manhua), Fools (manhwa), Seven days and Lucky Number 13. Especially Guang Xiang, it really lays focus on CONSENT which is my most important requirement for sex scenes and should be for everyone else as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely understand what you want to say! I do try to see the viewers without judgement though! Anime is a great way for outlets that you wouldn’t do in real life, so I’m not really that mad with people that like this kind of content! The thing that really triggers me is, as you said, it seems there is nothing more than that to offer for now -.-”

      Not really… I just can’t find the time to read it 😦 But I will take your suggestions into account and look into them! They seem just the thing I’m looking for eheh Thank you very much for the comment! 🙂

      Like

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